It was really great to be able to spend my last night in Los Angeles in your house. I enjoyed the long hours speaking to you, I learnt a lot. I wonder if I fell so understood because you’re a teacher and you’re experienced in “getting along” with people my age.
Where is Laguna Beach? Do you also kayak there?
It’s the first time I hear the term tide pool. The pools that the tide creates, I like it. I believe there’s more to study and observe in these places than in the oceans. Vast spaces are breath taking for their immensity but they lead us to overlook and not appreciate the smaller details that bring the whole into existence. Every tide pool is capable of explaining the whole ocean.
It seems like Allan Kaprow really inspires you, am I right? I’ve heard you speaking of him several times. Why so?
I didn’t know you scuba dived! It’s one of my life goals: to learn how to scuba dive. Spain is great for that, there’s so many scuba diving centres in Málaga. I too feel a great connection to the water and lately I’m really enjoying swimming, a sport I used to dislike with a passion. It’s funny reading the description of your dreams; I had very similar ones growing up. I dreamt that, unlike other humans, I could swim on and on without having to pop my head out to catch oxygen. I haven’t had that dream in a very long time though, perhaps because I now live on a houseboat. Who knows? It’s interesting to acknowledge how we stop dreaming particular dreams once we actually listen to them and follow our intuition to make them real. It’s almost like consciousness says “thank you for listening” and moves on to another dream that should be made tangible. Don’t you think?
I don’t know what made you jump from scuba diving to Stacey, but I agree, she does look very alike to her same self during her 20s. I think she looks better now. I love grey hair, is it natural? I have always wanted to be old just to have genuine grey hair growing from my scalp. I think it’s beautiful.
At first I had no clue of what you were speaking about in relation to Ouija Boards, I had never seen the word’s spelling in English. We pronounce it “Wija” in Spain. That’s amazing!!! I have always wanted to try but the opportunity has never showed up, and I feel deep respect for spirits like Tausi. I too believe that Jenny was subconsciously answering her own questions; Ouija Boards, or fortune telling cards, are only a reflection of ourselves when connected to higher mediums/energies. Unlike you, I deeply believe in spirituality and I really enjoy discovering its many paths, however I too agree that these transcendental journeys do not come from somewhere or someone external to us, but completely from within us, whether through Ouija Boards, Automatic Drawings, or through dices that are thrown in the air. Lately when I really don’t know which path to take in life, when I can’t hear my intuition clearly, I write ‘yes’ and ‘no’ in two separate pieces of paper. I then speak to the papers and ask them to please guide me through the decision making process, and to provide me with the answer that serves me best, even if it’s a tough one. I throw the papers into the air with my eyes closed and immediately after opening them I question which paper I’m most attracted to. I pick it up, and my decision is ruled by that outcome, no matter what. It’s been tricky sometimes, but I like to think that the answer is always the right one and that there are many lessons to learn from that particular journey.
Anyway, these topics are hard to write about, I believe. Words are always so unambiguous, and they frustrate me when having to write about nonmaterial realities.
I am happy to be back in London. I thought Norwegian had lost my suitcase when I arrived to Gatwick Airport but it wasn’t the case: someone had mistaken it for their own and had grabbed it from the conveyor belt but never returned it. Instead he/she(/it) had left it standing by the side of belt number 6, where I obviously wasn’t able to see it. When I arrived to the houseboat, my flatmate and Luna (our British bulldog) were waiting for me, and within an hour of my arrival the tree of us were crawling from pub to pub drinking way too much wine in Surbiton (the southern town of Kingston). I unexpectedly got very drunk because I had been awake for almost 24h and, anyway, I hadn’t tried a sip of alcohol for almost one month, so I ended up crashing on the bed with my clothes on while my flatmate flirted on the phone with a tinder date he had ditched in order to spend the night with me.
The weather is surprisingly cold too; it’s even been snowing today. However this doesn’t feel so bad to me, I had become a little tired of so much sun in California. Anyhow I really enjoy wearing warm sweaters, scarfs, and boots every once in a while. I am dedicating the next few days entirely to myself. There are many things I wish to think and write about, and I want to readjust slowly as I digest all the experiences. There’s nothing too exciting happening here either; coming back home is always a warm experience but one’s surroundings can feel terribly boring after so much discovery.